Goodbye, Shizu-chan
by Blooming Memories
Summary: Shizuo Heiwajima is now 6 feet underground, while Izaya is currently in emotional turmoil and agony when he finds out. When exactly had he become attached to this imbecilic monster? Will he ever get over Shizuo? Slash oneshot; no smut. Rated T for angst and minor foul language.


"_Ne, Shizu-chan,_" Izaya whispered softly, reminiscing in the lingering scent of tobacco from the empty, and lonely cemetery. "_I'm all alone now, aren't I? No more monster, huh. Do you still hate me?_"

Salty tears threatened to spill out from crimson orbs with their raw sting as the informant silently panted in nervosity. With shaky hands, Izaya traced the letters of the tombstone before him over and over again, the rain cascading down like a soft melody and plastering raven hair onto his pale face, hiding any reveal of emotions. After repeating the same action several times, deft fingers trailed up and down the stone, feeling the rough texture beneath his flesh. The air was thick and lacking oxygen, suffocating his lungs slowly as he tried to maintain steady breathing.

"_Ne, Shizu-chan. You never were…..a smart person, were you? So simple-minded, while instead, I took time thinking things through intricately. Yet, you somehow seemed to get by better than I did. Heh. What am I saying? Of course you didn't get by better than me, you're __**dead**__."_

Izaya's face was one void of emotion, but his eyes made all the difference. Ruby hues were pooling with despair, almost as if signifying he had given up.

_**Broken. **_

"_Ah, but maybe being dead is better than having to live through this monstrosity of a world, no? Maybe you got ahead of me. Maybe, all this time, in reality, I was the only one who couldn't keep up. And that's why you're here right now, isn't it? My fault. Damn you, Shizu-chan. Guess who feels like the monster now."_

He hadn't killed Shizuo. In fact, he had no idea who had erased the blonde from this earth. Only a week ago, Izaya was negotiating with a client when he received a phone call from Shinra out of the blue, pronouncing the 'Beast Of Ikebukuro', dead. Of course, he didn't believe it at first. After all, no one but him could possibly murder the protozoan, right? _**Wrong**_. The raven had spent the next few days locked in his office, fingers never detaching themselves from the onyx keyboard, in search of any leads towards the killer. Izaya had found nothing. Eventually, he became so fed up with the fake leads and frustration, he threw his computers out of the window with an infuriating scream. Now he was here, in front of his sworn enemy's grave. Izaya had been living a lie, refusing to believe the ordeal, and now he was staring straight at it. There was no denying it anymore, **Shizuo Heiwajima, **was dead.

**Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. **

The word continued to resonate and ring in his ears as he looked down at the earthy grass beneath him. Izaya was supposed to kill him. **Only him**. This was **his **monster to play with and crush to pieces. In his own twisted way, Shizuo had grown as a part of his everyday life. Something that was always there in the back of Izaya's mind, always expecting the brute to pop up one way or another. Now, he lay motionless in a casket, 6 feet under. Despising change was not unusual for the information broker. He liked his daily routine, but now that his favorite toy was gone, what was he to do? There was no point if Shizuo wasn't there to stop and insult him for his actions. There was no point in doing anything if Shizuo wasn't there to realize what Izaya had planned at the last minute, bursting into a fit of anger. There was no point in anything anymore, yet he had to keep going, didn't he? What if he didn't want to? The only person who had always payed attention to him, even if it _was_ in a form of hatred, was now gone.

"_Can't really comprehend how a fucking brutal monster like you could go down so easily._"

What was this hollow feeling? Almost as if he had lost something dear. It continued to eat at his heart, his conscious, eventually taking over his everyday life as well. This is why he never allowed himself to become attached to someone. So when exactly had he become 'attached' to Shizuo? There was an overwhelming emotion tugging at his chest, but he could not define it. No one would be able to describe an emotion such as this. It was **Pain**.** Grief**. **Despair**. Something that Izaya had never truly experienced before. Would he be able to get over this one day, or would he stay stuck in this whirlpool of emotional turmoil until the day he dies? He didn't know. He didn't know anything. Mostly because the grief was currently strangling him, constricting his lungs slowly and leaving the informant unable to think.

His wavering voice echoed throughout the silence as he doubled over sobbing, hit with a stronger wave of nausea that sent him kneeling to the ground. Never ending warmth continued to spill over his cold cheeks for a few, seemingly long minutes, before standing up and turning his back on Shizuo's grave.

"_I'll find whoever did this, and kill them with my own hands._"

Shoes thudded across the concrete as he left the area flooding with death. After he found out, he would move on, and forget all about **Shizuo Heiwajima**.

"_I won't say 'I'm sorry'. That's not what enemies do, you know. However, I was glad to have met you._"

….

"_Goodbye, Shizu-chan._"


End file.
